I'm writing this from an undisclosed location. Mostly because I don't know where the hell I am. Somewhere between West Virginia and Missouri. With Bane's driving, I fall asleep in one state and wake up in another a half hour later. Anyway, I thought about trying to do a regular social media profile but then I thought that might be too easy for the authorities to trace. I wouldn't say anything at all, but I'm actually starting to fear for my life.
So Bane, this woman in a rust-bucket of an old truck picked me up on the side of the road and it's been some kind of bizarre David Lynch-does-Stephen King-Amusement-Park ride ever since.
The scariest part so far is that I found out from her "accountant" that she had a partner that was eaten ALIVE by a bunyip. I didn't know what the hell that was, so I looked it up.
Crap on a cracker.
Look at this thing! Wikipedia says: The bunyip is a large mythical creature from Australian Aboriginal mythology, said to lurk in swamps, billabongs, creeks, riverbeds, and waterholes.
I have no idea how one got to the U.S. Maybe as a pet? Are they cute when they're small? Or...clinging to the bottom of a jet coming in from Australia? Have they always been here and there's only mythology about them in Australia?
Either way, yikes! What have I gotten myself into?
